It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
