So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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