No, drunk sperm still make babies.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
