Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
