I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
