So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
