Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
