This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
