I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
