Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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