$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
