I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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