I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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