I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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