I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
