Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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