thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
