You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
