I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
