because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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