So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
