It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
