I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
