I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
