I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
