On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
