if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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