I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize