just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
