Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
