"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
