He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
