Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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