In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
