Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
