I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
