You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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