One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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