Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize