what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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