That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
