I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
