Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
