can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
