I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
