The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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