my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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