you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
