i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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