i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize