Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
