mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
