Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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