me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize