I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
