You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
