I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
