oh god the rape fog is back!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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