did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
