Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
